In The Cabin
by OMFGhehehe
Summary: Palom is being mean to Porom again and Rosa won't help. Cecil is too busy trying to get Kain off the roof. Edward and Edge are making cookies... And just what is Cid doing?


A/N: Well this is a random story I came up with while I was bored in Government class… I hope you enjoy, as always, and I hope it makes you laugh!

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"That's mine!" Porom squealed at her younger brother. He had her hairbrush; she'd saved up all her allowance to buy it, and was brushing his hair. "Give it back!" She tried to grab it out of his hands but he held it just out of reach.

"Rosa!" Porom ran off to get Rosa because she was like a mom and knew how to settle fights like this.

"I'm busy!" Rosa said. Porom kept banging on the cabin door of her room that she shared with Rydia.

"What is it?" Rydia asked. Porom started talking at four hundred miles a minute and Rydia couldn't understand a thing so she shrugged and walked away.

"Rosa," Porom yelled. She started banging on the door again.

"Shut up!" Rosa snapped. Porom whimpered and went to the kitchen for a snack. In the kitchen she found Edward and Edge. They were putting stuff into a bowl.

"What are you doing?" Porom asked. Edward jumped. She giggled because it was so easy to startle him.

"We're making cookies," Edge said. He didn't appear to be doing anything. Porom figured Edward had finally told him off because the kitchen was a mess. It was a known fact Edge was a terrible cook.

"Cookies!?" her eyes lit up and she put the cutest face she could muster on. It was pretty irresistible because she was only five.

"They aren't done yet, but I'll call you when they are," Edward said. Porom ran out of the kitchen to go finish getting ready when she remembered why she'd left in the first place.

"Rosa," she sobbed beating on the door. She heard Rosa swear and Porom's eyes were full of tears. She grabbed the doorknob and was surprised when she found it unlocked. "Rosa!" she ran up to the surprised woman. When she was close enough she leapt onto her.

"What are you doing in here?" Rosa asked. She quickly shut the door. Porom noticed Rosa was wearing minimal clothing. It looked very weird.

"What are you wearing?!" Porom cried. She was always taught to cover her two private areas and Rosa was just barely doing that!

"This is my magic armor I wear under my clothes," Rosa lied. Porom nodded her head and asked for clothes like it. "Maybe when you are older, they don't make it in your size because children don't normally fight." Porom understood now and proceeded to tell Rosa about Palom taking her hairbrush. Then she pulled Rosa out of the room. Rosa protested but didn't fight back.

"He's in here," Porom explained. She opened the door slowly and Rosa followed her in.

"Your back Porom," Palom said laughing. Then he noticed Rosa and burst out laughing even louder. "You're such a slut Rosa." Rosa blushed but the way she openly stood you could tell she was proud.

"Give Porom her hairbrush back," Rosa said. She reached purposefully squashing her breasts against Palom's face.

"Ew!" Palom screeched and he raced out of the room. Rosa handed the hairbrush to a confused Porom.

"What's a slut?" she asked looking up at Rosa curiously.

This time, Rosa didn't act proud and she stumbled for a response. "Err… It's nothing." Rosa quickly left about as fast as Palom did.

Porom was still curious so she decided to ask Kain. Even though he was a traitor he was still smart. When she went to Kain and Cecil's room she heard a whine of, "Kaaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnnnnn!" It was Cecil who'd whined.

"Where's Kain?" Porom asked. Cecil pointed out the window and Porom looked but she didn't see anything.

"He's on the roof of the cabin," Cecil explained. Porom leaned more out the window to see if she could see him and she fell. Porom was getting ready to scream but she was caught by Kain.

"Thanks Kain," Porom said trying to snuggle into his cold, hard armor. Eventually she realized her body heat wasn't enough to make it warm. "What's a slut?"

Kain looked surprised but he still answered her, "Edge." Porom gestured for him to continue but he jumped up after setting her in Cecil's arms.

"Cecil, what's a slut?" Why did everyone look so shocked? She waited patiently for his answer.

"Well, I've hear Rosa is one but I don't actually know what one is," Cecil admitted… Although he looked like he was lying. Porom sighed and went to the Edwards next. When she arrived she noticed the cookies were done so she looked up at Edward pitifully. He handed her a cookie and she munched on it before asking her question.

"What's a slut?" she asked. Edward choked on his spit and Edge just laughed.

"Did you pick that one up from your brother?" Edge asked. Porom nodded. "Well a slut would definitely be Kain." Porom wondered if he'd elaborate. She turned to Edward.

Then he turned away back to the cookies, which he was arranging on a platter. Edge was slowly scooting out of the room.

"Can I have another?" Porom asked. Edward handed her another cookie. This was probably done so she wouldn't ask any more questions.

"Edge will you start on washing the dishes?" Edward obviously didn't realize Edge wasn't there until he didn't receive a reply. "Damn it." With that Edward left. This left the cookies unattended and Porom's lips twisted into an evil smile.

She ended up eating all the cookies except two which she'd saved for her brother to bribe him into telling her what a slut was.

"Cecil, have you seen Palom?" Porom asked. Cecil pointed outside, just like earlier. Porom walked outside and saw her brother sitting against the cabin wall. She plopped down on the cold ground next to him.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked. Palom jumped because he didn't notice her sit down next to him.

"Avoiding that nasty slut Rosa," Palom muttered softly. Porom just barely made out what he had said.

"What's a slut?" she offered him a cookie but saved the other and started munching on it herself.

"It's a woman who engages in sexual intercourse for money," Palom answered simply unlike everyone Porom asked before.

A screech was heard from inside the house and the twin ran inside. The first thing they saw was a barely conscious Rosa on the floor and Yang was a little ways away relaxing his arm from punching position.

"Stay away from me, whore," Yang spat as he marched back to his room.

"Palom, what's a-," Porom started but her brother knew what she was going to ask and answered her question, "It's a synonym for slut." Porom wondered where her brother picked up all his foul language and Palom said he'd learned it all from Edge and Kain

In the end Cecil was very angry at Kain and Edge for corrupting young kids' minds and he wouldn't talk to either of them for a week. But a week turned into ten minutes because Cecil couldn't bear the thought of not talking to Kain.

"Edge, the dishes are waiting," Edward said as he drug Edge to the kitchen. He gasped when he saw all the missing cookies.

"Where are all the cookies?" Edge complained. He was looking forward to those, which is why he helped Edward make them.

"I bet it was Cid, he has been hiding in his room all day!" Edward exclaimed as realization hit him.

"Sneaky bastard," Edge grumbled some Eblanese profanities under his breath. If Edward had known what they meant then Edge probably would have a red mark on his cheek.

"Let's go get that jerk!" Edward cried. He ran to Cid's room and flung open the door. This caused the new engine Cid had been working on to be smashed.

"Hey, whata you doin'," Cid cried in frustration. He had been working for hours on that engine. Edward stared in shock at the broken engine and realized that Cid probably did not steal the cookies.

"Wrong room," Edward sheepishly slammed the door shut and he turned on his heels, heading down the hallway.

"It wasn't Cid, he's been working on his engine," Edward said. He intentionally left out the part about smashing it.

"Maybe it was Kain, that no good bastard," Edge said. Edward didn't understand why the two hated each other but he thought it might have something to do with pride. Or because Kain was extremely racist.

"Kain wouldn't do that!" Cecil cried. He always defended Kain no matter what. Edge just shook his head and mumbled something under his breath.

"Well he's still a suspect," Edward said. He didn't want Edge to get mad because no one would stick up for him.

"I'll go get him!" Edge cried. Apparently he was a good ninja because seconds later Kain stood before them. The aforementioned person looked pissed.

"You stole the damn cookies didn't you?" Edge accused. Kain shook his head. "Let's hear you alibi then."

"I was on the roof the whole time. Cecil can vouch for me," Kain answered. Cecil nodded his head rapidly at this.

"Why the fuck were you on the roof?" Edge was frustrated. He'd worked really hard on making those cookies. He had… well he really didn't help, but keeping Edward company ought to count.

"I was trying to get away from all the noise," Kain answered. Edge glared.

"See he's not guilty," Cecil said although Edge still didn't look convinced.

"It's time to call in… the jury," Edge said, trying to make it sound epic.

The jury consisted of Porom, Yang, Palom, Rydia, and Namingway. Cid took the role of judge and Edge was Edward's lawyer while Cecil was Kain's.

"Okay we'll need order in the court," Cid said. Nobody really knew how a court actually went, but they had the basic concepts. "Why doesn't Edge give Edward's side of the story first?"

Edge took a large gulp of water and stood up abruptly. "Well, your honor, my client was baking cookies and after he left for about twenty minutes to search for me, the cookies were gone!"  
"Do you have anyone to testify for you?" Cid asked.

"Yes, myself and Porom," Edge replied. Porom was put on the stool. This was their witness stand.

"Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?" Rosa asked. Porom looked nervous, but she nodded anyway. She removed her right hand from the holy tome.

"I saw Edge and Edward baking cookies," she said hurriedly as she got ready to hop right down from the stool.

"If I may," Cecil asked. Cid nodded. "Did you eat any of the cookies?" Porom's forehead glistened with sweat.

"Y-yes," she swallowed loudly. Cecil smirked at this.

"How many of the cookies did you eat?" Porom shrugged. She tried to take deep breaths to calm herself.

"If you were to estimate, how many would you say you had?" Cecil asked. Porom didn't answer for a long time until she finally seemed to come up with an answer.

"I ate one and brought one to my brother. That is just two cookies," Porom said with a sweet smile on her face.

"Why did you avoid my question earlier?" Cecil demanded. He was only inches away from Porom and she was starting to feel intimidated.

"I was never very good at math, I'm only five." Tears started to form in her eyes. She sniffled loudly.

"That's all," Cecil took a seat. Porom ran back to hers next to an extremely bored Palom.

"Now-" Cid started to say something, but Palom cut him off, "-now the jury decides. I'm bored." No one argued. Palom got vicious when he didn't have his way. Good thing he didn't ask for much.

The jury left to meet in Rosa and Rydia's room. "I think he's guilty!" Porom cried out the minute they got there.

"Actually," Yang said, "Cecil was trying to get Kain down the entire time. I doubt Kain could get by him."

"What if he went around to either the front door or another window?" Porom said. She hoped they would suspect Kain, so they didn't accuse her.

"That's the only window and someone would've noticed if he came through the front door," Yang reasoned.

"Let's just decide already!" Palom said. Rydia agreed.

"I think Kain's guilty!" Porom said. Palom agreed, but Yang and Rydia disagreed.

"I don't think Kain is a glutton," Rydia said. When Porom glared at her she shrugged. "Just saying."

"Well Namingway?" Porom asked trying to look as cute as possible. "What do you think?"

"Hmm… hmm hmm hmm… I'd have to say hmm… I agree with Yang and Rydia, so not guilty." Porom's jaw dropped. How dare he resist her cuteness!

"We've come back with the results," Rydia said, announcing their arrival into the room. Although it was completely unnecessary, for all eyes were already on them.

"So?" Cid asked. Everyone was on the edge of their seats.

"Not guilty!" Cid yelled after Yang whispered the answer to him. Cecil jumped up at the outcome.

"Let's offer my body to anyone who finds the culprit," Rosa said, pushing her chest forward.

"I've got an idea!" Edward said. "I'll bake cookies for anyone who finds the culprit." Porom couldn't resist cookies.

"It was me!" Porom yelled. She wanted her cookies. There was a cry of disbelief.

"What's the punishment?" Rosa tried to say the last word seductively but failed.

"She is not allowed to have cookies for ten years," Edward said. Porom was sad but then she realized it would help her lose weight.


End file.
